Mitch, I agree.
When we were getting tested, several times I found myself hoping that the problem was me and not my wife, because otherwise I felt that she felt that maybe she was letting me down. And also I felt like I was becoming an observer, who was no longer involved in part because I couldn't understand. In our case the actual cause has been harder to pin down, so we are in the situation together. However I also can see that if I WAS the one who had the problem that 'd probably have a hard time not closing up into my own shell too.
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