Just do your best

[emily]

I've been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for more than 5 years now. Most recently I had pcos, and before that two cycles of ivf and several tries with fertility drugs earlier than that. so far nothing has worked. there has always been the thought what if none of these things work, but i could not think about it. but i think now i need to. at least i feel that i did all i could. i'd feel much worse if I had not tried so hard. yes it hurts that i did try hard and got nothing. but at least i know i did my best. thats all you can do. its hard to not take this personally but I know i can not.

[Kaimi1993]

A negative is SO hard on everyone, rather it's a 1st negative or your 8th, it still hurts deeply and I wish no one had to go through it. It's the emotional part that comes with it and NOT about the $$$.

[nancy'smom]

definitely its not about the money for me. it's like waiting for a letter from a distant place that never comes. everyday you wait for the mailman but then nothing comes. waiting and bad news are their own special tortures.

[Meg]

hear, hear. Waiting is indeed a special kind of pain. Like purgatory i guess.

[Meg]

Talking about negative news.
I think what brings many families to infertility treatments is a kind of bad news. In my case, it was a gradual revelation that I might have some trouble getting pregnant. It was the kind of bad news that starts out in the middle of the night as a moment of seemingly impossible wonder and gradually becomes a sensation of looming dread.

I have never shaken even though I would describe myself as a hopeful person, which is why I sought infertility treatments. So maybe the better way to phrase this thread is not say "dealing" with bad news, but living with it, and praying for a miracle.

We are blessed with two children. WE'd love a third, but the youngest is now 5 and I wonder if there comes a point where if we were successful with ivf or some other treatment, that we'd probably want a fourth to be closer in age to the one we are trying for now.