Single Woman

[mollylolly]

Hi everyone

I have a 9-month old daughter and used birthtalks alot during my pregnancy and found it really helpful. But now I need help on another issue that doesn't specifically relate to me but that I am deeply involved in.

My dear darling sister wants to have a baby and is looking into IVF as a single woman with an anonymous donor.

So far she has been confronted by long waiting lists and an unlikely chance of ever having sperm available for her to use. Some clinics won't even see her because she's a single woman (against their policy due to religious restrictions at some faith-aligned hospitals).

Does anyone have any experience or advice to give on getting the process moving forward? We live in Perth. It all just seems very discouraging at the moment.

Thank you. As a new mum myself I really want to be able to help my sister experience the joys of motherhood for herself. And she would be a great mum!

[marika43]

Hi, We have, here in France a lot of TV broadcast related to the problem your sister in encountering( right ?) and the problem she is facing is not only the religious ethic is also the legal situation the child will have when that child reaches his or her majority. and the right for anybody to search for the identity of is biological parent. I do no the reason she wants to do it "alone" but her child will be told and taugh that to be born, a mother and a father are necessary ! and here start the psychological problem that the child will have to face or live with (good or bad, we all have our reason ) I was, once sincle MOM and never forbid the father to see his son, because at a point it is very very important for the child to have marks to know where he or her goes. after watching tons of those tv broadcast or reading on the net, those children can have a normal life if they are prepared, but noone can tell how long, and how do we know really if they are "fine" their head might say "yeah, I 'm fine, life is great" but their heart says the contrary...here in Europe, it is only possible in Belgium or Netherland... because there, the gay and lesbian community is more "free" than anywhere else in europe, then they always find a solution.
I don't know if that answer a little bit to your question. but I've tried.
BTW : is Perth in Australia ?

[doloresr]

I agree with your basic points. However times DO change.
20 years ago every building you went into was filled with cigarette smoke.
Smoking was permitted everywhere including workplaces, college classrooms and on public transportation.
Same with integration (in the U.S.)
Nowadays much has changed, and the world is much better for it.

I agree we have a culture today that places a certain stigma on children of singler parents. But lets' face it, with divorce as common as it is, there are a great many kids out there who only have one parent.
I'm not sure where I stand on this issue, but I think the social aspects of it are changing now and will continue to change.
P.S. I believe Perth is in Australia.
Dolor

[gradysaunt]

I agree with most of Dolor's comments. However just because times change, doesn't mean they have changed for the better, or that current practices are the best for the parties involved. It seems what you saying is there are a great many single parents these days, and that makes it okay. Well, I don't think that is logical. I don't oppose single parenthood, but I do think it is a lesser option. Also, I think the person that it probably matters most to, the child, is not part of the discussion.
However, I don't think society has the right to make it illegal.
Thank for the opportunity to express my thoughts.

[Shaney]

I'm so glad I stopped here and read what gradysaunt said. Actually until now I had the opposite opinion (before reading it). but her point is very good. How does the child figure in this. Does the child matter? WE are focusing on the needs of the parents (or parent). what about the child.

[Sally]

Hi love,

why you don´t try to go to Ur Vistahermosa in Alicante, Spain..they have single patients with no waiting lists of anonymous donor and very good success rates.
Talk to Salome, she is very kind and deals with the international Deapartment..and even with the flight it will be cheaper than here. She organizes everything there.


best of luck to your sister!!!

Sally